i was talking to N that how we get to this age and the fact we need someone to understand us and to share things. life is full of change. when we were young we are fearless and feel like we can deal with everything. it doesn't seem to me that way now. being out from home and friends i always have to be strong and independant. it is always off the limit. but i can't even have a break. i hate opening up to people when they don't even try to take a look at me. it's always the wrong effort and bet. i seek so much for love and hug from people, all i get is the wall they build between us. i wish i find that someone here. don't know how long i can hold on to.
i need a big hug. a huge, tight, intimate, warm, sincere hug.
but i never get it.
it makes me sad somehow, at 1:43 AM in the morning.